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Horoscope  •  Editor's Musings  •  MadeUpComics
Baby wins rare lifetime achievement award

Report: Looking at specific website causes sterility

Skipping, not just for little girls anymore!

Ask the Mayor of Seattle

Super Powers
Which super power most closely resembles the one you have:

Ability to fly off the handle
Ability to brew super strength coffee
Invisibility to South Koreans
Ability to run faster than the speed of a lite brite
Mind control over people named Joanne
Super clothes folding

Current Results

Muslims riot for more Family Circus

Muslims demanding Jeffy & Co.

Poll: Most feel health care workers, hospitals get 'too much attention'

WASHINGTON- A new study revealed yesterday that most Americans are 'extremely upset'Duh! This is a surgeon. at the amount of attention and money that hospitals and health care professionals receive. In fact, 87% of people surveyed thought that all nurses should 'be imprisoned for their crime of nursing'...


Actor Sean Penn does amazing amounts of everything

WASHINGTON- Actor Sean Penn announced today Sean Pennthat he has negotiated a settlement to the Iraqi insurgent problem, cured baldness, invented a newer and better Sno-Cone machine...


American Teens Lag Behind South and Central America In Spanish Skills

WASHINGTON- A new study reports that American teens do not speak Spanish well enough. According to a new government study, American teens aged 13-18, lag far behind their Colombian, Peruvian, Ecuadorian, El Salvadoran, Panamanian, Costa Rican, Argentinean, Chilean, Puerto Rican, Uruguayan, Paraguayan, Nicaraguan, Honduran, Cuban and Bolivian counterparts when it comes to speaking in "even the most basic Spanish." The Americans did show a better proficiency in the language than those from Mexico however.

US Postal Service raises cost of mailing letter to $411

The U.S. Postal Service raised the price of mailing a first class letter from 34-cents to an astounding $411.00 yesterday. The Postal Service said the raise was needed because of an increase in the cost of mental health insurance and general corruption...