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Leno claims orgies are good for ulcers

by Mark Stella

Hollywood, CA - Jay Leno, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, is convinced that the best relief for a stomach ulcer is an orgy.

Perhaps the most amazing thing about this late-night clown's discovery is that he came to this conclusion without performing research. According to the animals of the forest, Leno first made this announcement to his doctor while receiving an anal examination during last Monday's episode of The Tonight Show.

While quietly lying on his desk in the fetal position with his doctor's thumb stuck up his ass, Leno claimed that San Diego Chargers Quarterback Doug Flutie came into his dream and told him orgies are good for stopping ulcers.

Leno asked for his doctor's opinion on the matter, in which he replied "is that what he told you?" The Tonight Show host responded "yeah" and then started whistling the theme to The Late Show with David Letterman. He stopped whistling when the examination ended.