McDonald's responds to infamous fried chicken head

After two days of sniffing around every junkyard in the Western Counties of the Sub Atlantic upper Peninsular, our Made Up News staff discovered what could be a rough draft of a written statement from McDonald's Restaurants. It appears that the statement is in regards to the fried chicken head incident. The following is the statement from McDonald's:

A couple McDays ago, a mother of two discovered a fried chicken head in a box of chicken wings which she purchased at one of our finer McDonald's restaurants. We just wanted to assure our customers that the chicken head being in that box of wings was no accident.

In an attempt to prove to the cynics and skeptics that McDonald's does indeed use real chickens in our poultry products, we purposely placed that chicken head in the box.

We'd like to thank our contest division — who are responsible for our famous Monopoly Game contest — for coming up with the idea. But unlike the Monopoly game, finding a chicken head is easier than finding a Boardwalk piece ... and we like it that way.

Please ignore the rumor which claims it is an actual employees' head, which fell into the deep fryer after it was severed by Ronald McDonald. It has also been reported that the head was a Happy Meal toy which accidentally got slipped into the wrong box. That report is 50-percent false.

We originally intended to get our point across by making the fried chicken head a Happy Meal Prize. Then our company quickly figured out that most kids tend to eat the prizes. And when you factor in; A. that a fried chicken head has some nutritional value and B. that nutritional value is a dirty word in our company, having children eat the plastic toy is in our best interest.

Finally, expect us to employ this tactic to other foods on our menu. So consider yourself lucky if you find either a bull horn in your Big Mac, or a finger in your French Fries.

Thanks,
McDonald's Restaurants